Saturday, March 18, 2006
Pam was my wife and my best friend. Some couples will say that a cliche, but Pam was the person who I confided in, who I loved, who I shared my fears with, who was there every minute of every day for me. Pam was my life and with our daughter, my reason for getting out of bed each day. Even though she suffered on a daily basis, it was the only secret she kept from me. Even in her last days on Earth, she complained no more than she had before, which was only the occasional mention of a headache or leg ache. She was strong, dedicated to her husband and daughter, she was alive to the point of radiance, and she cared not a wit for what other people thought of her. Pam was the center of attention no matter where she stood and she didn't even notice how magnetic she was to other people. Her smile, that million watt smile, touched her eyes in a way that changed her face into a beautiful painting. Her laugh echoes in my mind, a melodic chorus of pure happiness. Pam lived for the moment, extracting from life all she could in the time she had. I know she expected to stay with her husband and daughter for more years than she ultimately had, but she never, ever quit, missed a minute with her husband and daughter and she professed nothing but love for her family, it was her life and her source of happiness. Pam and I made mistakes in our lives, and we missed out on some very important things, and maybe we never had great material wealth, but we found true love and happiness together, something not many people can honestly claim in their lives. Pam was a woman who truly taught me the meaning of happiness, of what's really important in this tortured world and that's something that can never be taken away from me. She spent years, using love as her tool, molding me into the kind of husband who could take care of our daughter when she was called away to her place in Heaven. We laughed together, we cried together, we rejoiced together, and we sometimes failed together. In the end, she left us as happy as she had ever been in her life and for that I'm grateful. She left quietly and in her sleep, with no suffering or pain, and for that I drop to my knees and thank God for his mercy. Megan and I miss you so much, Kitten...please watch over us as we try to make you proud.
